I have a Victoria plum tree which was laden with fruit. I think to myself I will pick those plums tomorrow before the wasps get them so at first light I go out with my baskets…..

But wait…….something has happened during the moonlit night. Mr Badger was one step ahead. The Badger boys have been out under cover of darkness and got there before me. The plums on the lowest branches are completely missing. Worse, under the tree is a big mess of trampled leaves and broken twigs. Round and about are a lot of holes in the grass where worms have been dug up for pudding.

I realise now that my badger colony has established itself here as they regard my garden as a kind of Sainsbury’s. All year round there is a nice choice of organic seasonal produce. And when nature’s bounty is not sufficient extra foods are offered. Last week I tripped over a badger by the back door easing himself towards the nuts that had spilled from the bird table.

Actually I have been a bit dilatory putting out peanuts as we’ve all had swine flu. Initially the virus was brought back from Val de Lobo by my dizzy (lit. it was the main symptom) daughter and then the Salcombe version (hacking cough) was introduced by my dear boy. Government statistics might report fewer new cases but (like everything else) what do they know? Statisticians not unreasonably expected a lull during the school holidays but they’d forgotten about nightclubs, music festivals, camping and beaches.

As it turned out the flu didn’t stop me working as our new book to be finished by Christmas required a lot of political research which could easily be done in bed. I am now an expert on Profumo, Macmillan and the Wilson years, and associate Christine Keeler with Lemsip.

What has all this got to do with Badgers? Nothing……August was that kind of month I am afraid.